To my dearest,

You motivate me, you burden me, you sadden me, you excite me

How confusing, how fulfilling

I have loved, I love you, I want to love

How? In what ways?

Have I done enough? Do you feel loved? Cherished. Yearned for?

I’m a man. And what seeketh a man if not love?

To love and be loved. To value and be valued. To cherish and be cherished

Have I been a man for you? Have you been a woman for me?

Have we loved each other? Valued and cherished one another?

Of this, I know it’s true. At least on my part

Oh! is it?

Maybe you have been disappointed? Or even angered.

Felt not loved enough

Felt not like a woman

Felt unfulfilled

Let me know, my love.

Are you disgruntled? Or perhaps resigned that you’ll never be loved enough?

Or perhaps trembling at love’s naked light? Being bared and known?

You bring me joy. You’re my joy. My oasis. My haven. My sweet woman

Oh, how I love you. How I want to love you. How I hope I’ve been able to love you

The way you talk. The way you laugh. Your smile. Your joy. Your calm. I love it all

Even your tide. Your chaos. Your rebellion. Your darkness. Your shadow. It’s where I want to be.

Come to me. At your brightest.

Come to me. At your darkest.

Can I come to you? When I’m beaming?

Can I come to you? When I’m dimming?

Oh, how I desire comfort. Tranquility. Calm.

But I know there’s not comfort without toil. No tranquil without work. No calm without storm.

Luckily, I have you. You give me both ends—storm and stillness.

And in your arms, I am home— / if you’ll still have me.